April Fool

It's April Fool's Day today. Don't worry, I'm not going to play some elaborate prank that will end up making you feel foolish. Instead, it got me thinking of some of the funny things I've been asked since moving to Houston.

A couple of weeks ago, my Wife and I went to IHOP for breakfast and the waitress was young and chatty and they seemed to hit it off while I was still exploring the menu trying to decide between an omelette and the french toast (in the end I had neither).

When my Wife commented how she didn't like eggs, the waitress was excited to discover she wasn't the only person to find "chicken foetus" disgusting (I'll have my eggs scrambled by the way). The waitress then went on to tell us how she'd visited another IHOP recently and when she asked the waitress to hold the eggs and bring her extra sausage, the waitress asked "are you vegan?".

I don't profess to know all the ins and outs of the veganhood but I'm sure extra sausage will kept you kicked out pretty quick!

It reminded me of the time when I was in another IHOP restaurant with my parents years ago and the waitress complimented us all on our english and how we'd learned it so quick since moving to the US! I'm not sure what language she thinks we speak in England.

Most of the other questions I've been asked are even more stupid than the ones mentioned but include things like "what state is England in?", and "do you know the Queen?". A lot of people go on to talk about an english person they met one time and then ask if I know them. Ok, so there aren't as many people in Britain as the US but come on, I haven't had chance to meet all 60 million yet.

A guy at work asked me the other week if I can hide my accent. Erm..I suppose I can hide it in my mouth...what?!? It took a few confused minutes of clarification before I realised that the guy just did not understand the concept of accents. He thought that if I 'hid' my accent, I would sound just like him.

Sometimes I wonder how these people remember to wake up each morning.