Waiting for the rapture

If you're a pet owner, as well as a God botherer, have you ever wondered what would happen to your pets after the second coming and the angels have saved your soul and taken you to a better place?

Well, wonder no more.

Eternal Earth Bound Pets have an offer just for you. For a fee of $110, they guarantee that should the rapture occur within ten years of payment one of your pets will be saved and housed with an atheist family who remain on earth. A further $15 per animal will save any others after the first one.

As the website says, this is indeed a small price to pay for peace of mind.

But how can we be sure that they will honour the agreement? Asks one of the FAQ's. They are after all atheists.

Worry not. Being an atheist doesn't mean they lack morals or ethics.

Phew, that's a relief.